What do you do if there is infidelity in your relationship? Do you take it all in and cry your heart out when you are alone blaming yourself or thinking what it is you have done wrong? Do you let all your anger and frustration be felt by the other person who hurt you by firing bullets of painful words? Or do you seek help from other sources such as counseling, or people you trust like your friends and or family?

It is a difficult situation to be in. Not only it is difficult, it is also heartbreaking. You feel betrayed, humiliated, violated. You feel lost and angry, sad and confused why this has happened. Crying your heart out (male or female) helps. It releases that block of emotions inside your system. While getting angry and letting yourself be heard is also a natural reaction, it is only useful depending upon how you are communicating your message. Seeking the opinion or advices from other people sometimes help and sadly sometimes fuel your anger some more which makes things even more complicated.

Keep in mind that you are in a relationship with this person because of a mutual understanding and feeling which is called LOVE. And as natural as LOVE is, INFIDELITY is just right there in almost every corner.

Now if you are in this sad situation, the first thing to ask yourself is: Do I still love this person? If the answer is "yes" then you must simply let that love shine above all that is negative surrounding the heart and mind. The partner who is being unfaithful is the one who is lost, not you. Talk to your partner, lead the way back to where your relationship should be by communicating what went wrong and work on ways to rekindle what was lost whether it is romance, spiritual or mental connection. The one who is hurting is ultimately the one who can end the pain. It is not easy to be the bigger person but because you love, and if you believe in that love, you shall emanate all that is emanated by love: forgiveness, humility, and hope.

I have been surrounded by relationships. All of us are surrounded by relationships. At close hand, I know the ups and down of loving someone. I have seen how love conquers all and experienced a love's downfall. But of course we all LOVE anyway. Not all relationship ends in a happy ending. But who's to say what is a happy ending anyway? Life does not end just because a relationship failed. You can either move on with this relationship and try your best to make it work, or move on and be happy to welcome a new one. The sad part of infidelity is when a good relationship is destroyed. But then again, it is you who knows if the relationship is worth saving or not. Both parties should try to feel how it is to be in each other's shoes. Ask the question, "What would you feel if I had done this you?" To the infidel, would you want your partner to do this to you? And if she would have done this to you, would it be okay that she would offend you again and again? Of course not. To the victim, if you were the one who was weak and committed infidelity, would you not want to be given a second chance to prove that you can be a better person? Keep in mind the golden rule my friends. It is there for we can learn from it. And remember that the golden rule goes both ways.

LOVE is powerful. Believe that your LOVE is special, strong and true and so it shall be. May LOVE always guide all of us in heart, mind and spirit. ~ litlmisscaffeine

Today was a great day. The day is Friday, the day of several firsts in my family here in Yellowknife which I feel are blog worth. ^_^

Today was the day I have taken the first step of becoming an outdoor enthusiast. Dressed in a jogging outfit, I went outside on my own (well with my son Jesse on the stroller) and walked and ran for about 90 minutes. It was a good feeling to finally embrace this new lifestyle.

I made homeburgers for the first time! It was yummy! The coleslaw salad made it extra special. I find that being here in Yellowknife has waken up the resourceful side of me.

Janvier baked his first muffins and they were delicious. I told him I love your chocolate muffins in which he replied,"No mommy, it's banana. The main ingredient is banana." Boy, my baby is growing up moment by moment.

Justin attended a birthday party here in Yellowknife for the first time. It was a girl named Mia who turns 8 years old today. It was fun he said.

Oh, the best part of today was meeting Janvier's new friend Tyler. Tyler is an American boy from Idaho. He seems to be a good kid. Janvier said that he and Tyler are planning to write a story for their drama class. He said that one day, he and Tyler are going to make a movie. Janvier is excited for all the fun things they will be doing together. And I am excited too.

So we finally made it here to Yellowknife. The boys love it here and truthfully, I am surprised how beautiful Yellowknife is. I am still working on getting used to my new surroundings and it is going well. I love walking, I do. But I find that I do not do as much walking here. I am not worried about it because I know that in time I will have the enthusiasm to go out on my own. For now, I have come in peace that Yellowknife is now our new home.

Ottawa 2007. 7th wedding anniversary.



I hope you will be happy there with me.

Powerful and heartfelt words from my husband. I feel that he is worried about this move. He knows how much I like and enjoy the city... The fun, glam, glitter and all that jazz. He said that the place where he will take me is so much different from here. Wilderness surrounds the small town of Yellowknife. The lifestyle is quiet versus a fast phase life here in Toronto. Life over there is about nature and outdoor activities.

My manager said that I am selfless for giving up things like "running water". He was funny. His speech during the goodluck-on-your-move-party was heartfelt and I thought it was great. It was a good thing that someone blew the surprise for me otherwise I could have been crying and ruining my mascara. But I was truly touched and sad that day.

Selfless is a powerful word too.

I think that giving up all that I am used to in my daily life in exchange of a new life with my family being together is the hardest decision I have made. Being "selfless" however is the easiest choice I had and the only one that made sense. I was asked if I had always been selfless to which I replied, I just want things to be easier. I think and analyze but I don't over-analyze. I am a free spirit who acts with no regrets, always looking ahead, and deals with the consequences instead of worrying about them. I don't like spending too much time thinking when I already know what I want. To me worrying makes things complicated.

A friend of mine said that things happen for a reason. He said that this move is meant to be because this is what I wanted. He said that I had wished in my mind and in prayers for my family to be together and this is the answer to my wish. Indeed God moves in mysterious ways and we really have to be in tuned to Him so we can gratefully accept His will. I guess He wants me to be have the opportunity to be "selfless" and experience the joy of having my wishes granted.

Today is our 10th wedding anniversary. We celebrated it with take out Vietnamese/Chinese food. Our table was made of carton boxes and we were sitting on the floor with our children. We were surrounded by boxes and mess. The ambiance could not be any better and we were all very happy and having a nice time.

Some of you who know my situation have an idea of how I am doing juggling my time as a mother of 3 boys with the absence of my husband who is working in the far away city of Yellowknife. It is not so easy. And with this fact, I was asked the question "how do you manage?"

I steal time to make time. I only have 24 hours a day to complete such number of tasks but I do have 7 days to work things through. If I have planned to do the laundry on a Saturday morning because I know I will be coming in late and tired from work on a Friday night, but then Friday night came and I was not tired and it was still early, I will then do the laundry that Friday night. I schedule things but I am always prepared to change it. I don't feel pressured and I feel more productive as I complete tasks on my own phase. I stay focused on completing tasks that are my priorities and try my best to complete them with speed and so I can wind down for at least 15 minutes once they are done. Winding down for me is shopping on my way home before I do the groceries. I find it therapeutic to try on clothes (sign of a shopaholic). I consider walking from the grocery store as my work out and alone time which usually takes about 15 to 25 minutes 3 to 4 times a week. Mind you, this include lifting the groceries.

Procastinating is not the same as being flexible. I am flexible.

I see challenges not stress. There are a lot of things that happen in a day that sometimes can be too overwhelming whether from the office or from home. What happens at work stay at work and gets resolved at work. What happens at home stay at home and gets resolved at home. I know my capabilities and I believe in my strengths. I also know when I need to seek help and am always grateful for the help I receive. There are always ways to make things work. I do my best to be a perky problem solver.

Positive attitude always make a BIG difference.

There is a definite purpose and reason why I am doing the things that I do everyday. What I do is what makes me who I am. I wake up at 5:30 in the morning so I can be at work @ 7:00 am so I can leave work early enough that I still have the time to do things at home which of course are various random things in which its importance are rated based on how I feel and how that day is going. I do because I can. I can because I want. I want because I love. I do all these because this is how I show I care.

Putting my family first as the center of my universe make everything worthwhile. Because of them, I am inspired to wake up everyday with positive and grateful mindset that yes, I can do this!

At the end of the day I say a little prayer to thank God for all that He has given me. I give praise and ask for strength so I can perform my duties the next day. I pray that I always keep my good heart shining whatever life brings to me. I pray that He bless all the angels He sends my way.

And that is how I manage ^_^

www.everydaypeoplecartoon.com

Some of you may already know that my family is moving to Yellowknife and how I feel about that move.

I am working on this company for 5 years now and moving to Yellowknife has left me no choice but to let my manager know that I will be leaving my job.
But then I thought to myself, I love my job so why not bring it with me to Yellowknife. I have an access to work from home. It will be perfect. So I told my manager about this situation back in February.

Today, five months after, I was given the sad news. I cannot bring my work to Yellowknife. It sinks to me now that I am really leaving. I am filled with mixed emotions. I held myself together as I listened to his reasons why I could not bring my work to Yellowknife. As I listened to him, I was feeling that I was not good enough but then it was as if he could read my mind that he said this is not because we do not value you, in fact we considered it because we like you. But after some thought it is decided that this is something that our team is not ready for and that we are not equipped to do.

I wanted to bring my work to Yellowknife because how easy it would be to be working from home and at the same time doing something that I am already familiar with. But now that this is not going to happen, I am faced with uncertainty. Uncertainties that I have to face with courage and positive mind.

When one door closes, another opens. It's true. I am not able to bring my work to Yellowknife and it makes me feel that a part of me is being taken away. It is hard to let go of things that have made me comfortable, the lifestyle, and the routine that I am used to. I tend to cling to such things. And because of this, I think that it is a good thing that a decision was made for me so that letting go would be easier. If not, surely I would continue to do the same thing over and over again maybe for the next five years.

My manager told me that he believes I will do well in whatever it is I would decide to do in Yellowknife. You have come a long way and have done very well. You are a strong woman, he says. You are bright, hard worker, your work ethic is high, you communicate well and you work well with others. These are good qualities that not everybody has. So there is nothing you should be afraid of.

And I believe him. With all honesty I believe him. I agree with him. His kind words filled my heart with courage.

My horoscope says, "the next opportunity does not come from you, it calls on you." I always believe that things happen for a reason. There is something better out there for me and I will find it. It can be a challenge but I always have risen up to challenges. My choices are limitless. This is not the end. This is just the beginning of new and better things to come.

I am fortunate to have the opportunity for a change. Not everybody is given the chance for a change. Change is good. It is. Change is an opportunity. Opportunity to be better, to grow, to discover, to experience. And this is what is presented to me. This is what is given to me and change is what I am going to make.

What does work mean to you? Such a boring, dragging you down kind of word, isn't it? Some people say, work is 'stressful'. But to some work is passion, fun, a very fortunate thing to have in life.

Last night Janvier and I were choosing his electives for his grade nine courses. He asked me of what I think he should choose and I said he should pick the courses that will help him on what he wants to be in life. Knowing what you want now will help you later on, I said.

I am a working mother of three boys. My 40 hours per week is solely dedicated to this company which I am proud of but I absolutely will not disclose. Parenthood is not easy single-handedly. My husband works in the far away city of Yellowknife and his physical absence makes motherhood a bit difficult than usual. But this living situation has turned me from a mom-who-did-not-own-an-agenda into a mom-who-has-to-do-list-on-four-calendars. I have 2 calendars at work, 1 in my kitchen and my handy dandy IPhone. I do things in advance as I remember them in advance. My thoughts are a constant repitition from what's for children's lunch, what to wear to work to what to cook for dinner. And of course there are those various thoughts hovering that fill up my daily to do list such as oh yeah I need to buy the kids milk, I have an appointment today at school yadi yadi yada...

Mothers have this extra load on their shoulders. Mothers who are also career women have double the extra load. They have work to do in their so called workplace and their so called homes. As a mom, I feel like a juggler. And I want to be the best juggler mommy I can be.

During my younger years I remember having high aspirations for myself and I don't recall that being a mother was one of them. I guess motherhood just happens. No woman 'aspire' to become a mother. At least I did not.

But I am a mother. A working mother. Martin Luther King said, if a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.

I guess in the end what matters most is that you take pride in whatever it is that you do. Aim to deliver your best everyday in all aspects of your daily life. Think positively that no matter how small you think your role is, it is still a very important role that contributes to the good of all.

I said to Janvier to make Drama 101 his first choice. It is a good way to express yourself creatively. He said I know you want me to be an actor, mommy.
Well, don't you?, I asked.
Yeah, well... But I don't want that life. That lifestyle is messed up.
So I said, you know what Janvier you have a point.

Janvier chose aviation, mechanics, music, photography, and drama as his top five courses. I bet he'll do well in all those. Whether he'll end up an aviator, mechanic or an actor, I just hope he will be doing something that he loves to do ^_^ Work is a lot more fun if you love it. And if you love it, you give all your best to deliver a great job.




Janvier on his Grade 8 graduation