Today on the Dr. Phil show was a married couple with marital problems. The husband, a body builder and a trainer, buffed and tanned is cheating on his wife, a pretty faced but slightly overweight woman who is the mother of his two children.

They have been married for 10 years and in those years the husband has been cheating with about a hundred girls according to the wife. She said that her husband has a bad temper and have hurt her physically in some occasions too. The husband acknowledges and does not deny these facts about him but continued to say when asked, that he will never be a devoted, faithful husband to his wife or to anyone. What an arrogant, full-of-it-sonna-ma-gun. He admits that he is manipulative too. But with all these I have to say that he was honest. Weird to say about a cheating husband, but you see, the wife knew all those times she had been cheated on. This was the husband's excuse and the fact that his wife has gotten "fat". He says that after he cheats, his wife takes him back and he knows his wife will always take him back so he continues to cheat again and again.

They are now getting a divorce. It is so easy to do this when you are married in the United States. Good for them.

It is very hard to hang on to a marriage that has been deteriorating for a long time, most especially when a spouse is immature, superficial, and does not share your goals and values. Women, please take care of yourselves when entering into a relationship. It is so important that you hold on to your self-esteem so that no man can manipulate you and make decisions for you. Looking good should be coming from the inside, beauty should not be superficial so you do not end up with men who would hurt you and leave you once your look and body has changed. And please ladies, let us have respect to ourselves and to each other. Do not date a man who is already married! Go and get your own! Because if he is cheating on his wife, what makes you think he is not going to cheat on you? And Mr. Good Looking who thinks he is all that, you will get old too, "gravity will kick in", you can take all the pills and help you need to make your weapon operative but let me tell you... what goes around comes around. You will end up alone and the fun you think you are having now will be nothing but the cause of your pain in the future. Your measure of being a man is nothing but a shallow, empty, and superficial being that you are. You are not invincible. No one is.

It's the hardest thing to do, to forgive...when someone you love has caused you pain, betrayed you, left you or took you for granted, when someone you love does not reciprocate the affection you give.

But we love anyway. We love because it is the most human thing to do... the very reason of our existence. But not at all times that our love is meant to be...that because we love it is a happy ending. Sometimes that "love" was just to teach us a lesson, to help us know ourselves better, and to enrich our lives. But all of these are unattainable if we are not able to forgive the "love" that caused us heartache.

Forgetting is not the same as forgiving. Forgiving is more powerful and unless you forget you are not really forgiving. Love cannot stand alone without forgiveness and forgiveness shall not shine without forgetting the past, the pain, and the sorrow. When we forgive we must forget all the negatives associated with the pain that make our heart cry. When we forgive, we free ourselves from the poison of hate and we start over a new beginning. It is through forgiving that we are thankful of the chance to experience how to love, for the friendship that existed... When we forgive, we give ourselves a chance to be better. When we forgive, our burden becomes light.

Love is forgiving. To forgive is to love.To forgive is to not keep records of wrongs. To forgive is to heal. To forgive is the hardest thing to do but it is the cure for an aching heart.

~ litlmisscaffeine~

What do you do if there is infidelity in your relationship? Do you take it all in and cry your heart out when you are alone blaming yourself or thinking what it is you have done wrong? Do you let all your anger and frustration be felt by the other person who hurt you by firing bullets of painful words? Or do you seek help from other sources such as counseling, or people you trust like your friends and or family?

It is a difficult situation to be in. Not only it is difficult, it is also heartbreaking. You feel betrayed, humiliated, violated. You feel lost and angry, sad and confused why this has happened. Crying your heart out (male or female) helps. It releases that block of emotions inside your system. While getting angry and letting yourself be heard is also a natural reaction, it is only useful depending upon how you are communicating your message. Seeking the opinion or advices from other people sometimes help and sadly sometimes fuel your anger some more which makes things even more complicated.

Keep in mind that you are in a relationship with this person because of a mutual understanding and feeling which is called LOVE. And as natural as LOVE is, INFIDELITY is just right there in almost every corner.

Now if you are in this sad situation, the first thing to ask yourself is: Do I still love this person? If the answer is "yes" then you must simply let that love shine above all that is negative surrounding the heart and mind. The partner who is being unfaithful is the one who is lost, not you. Talk to your partner, lead the way back to where your relationship should be by communicating what went wrong and work on ways to rekindle what was lost whether it is romance, spiritual or mental connection. The one who is hurting is ultimately the one who can end the pain. It is not easy to be the bigger person but because you love, and if you believe in that love, you shall emanate all that is emanated by love: forgiveness, humility, and hope.

I have been surrounded by relationships. All of us are surrounded by relationships. At close hand, I know the ups and down of loving someone. I have seen how love conquers all and experienced a love's downfall. But of course we all LOVE anyway. Not all relationship ends in a happy ending. But who's to say what is a happy ending anyway? Life does not end just because a relationship failed. You can either move on with this relationship and try your best to make it work, or move on and be happy to welcome a new one. The sad part of infidelity is when a good relationship is destroyed. But then again, it is you who knows if the relationship is worth saving or not. Both parties should try to feel how it is to be in each other's shoes. Ask the question, "What would you feel if I had done this you?" To the infidel, would you want your partner to do this to you? And if she would have done this to you, would it be okay that she would offend you again and again? Of course not. To the victim, if you were the one who was weak and committed infidelity, would you not want to be given a second chance to prove that you can be a better person? Keep in mind the golden rule my friends. It is there for we can learn from it. And remember that the golden rule goes both ways.

LOVE is powerful. Believe that your LOVE is special, strong and true and so it shall be. May LOVE always guide all of us in heart, mind and spirit. ~ litlmisscaffeine