I am anxious. The butterflies are rowdy and up to my neck. This moment is happening and I am in awe that this moment is real.

Speechless.

Everything was moving slowly when I moved with my family to Yellowknife. I had all the time in the world I did not know what to do with me. I was in the abyss of self loathing, it was awful. But all those sleepless nights, all those dark nights, and deafening voices in my head had come to an end. I feel I've shed my skin and here I am, now stronger and wiser.

I am not looking back, but I am reminiscing.
This very moment is about reflection of how things came out to be. Of how everything fell into place, of how moments become memories.... how choices become destiny.

 And here I am grateful.


For more photos of the book launch of Coming Home: Stories from Northwest Territories
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sefdesign

For more info about the book and how to order:
http://northwordsnwt.ca/coming-home-on-sale-now/
http://www.greatplains.mb.ca/
http://www.amazon.ca/Coming-Home-Stories-Northwest-Territories/

To hear an excerpt:
http://www.cbc.ca/thetrailbreaker/

Some of you may already know that my family is moving to Yellowknife and how I feel about that move.

I am working on this company for 5 years now and moving to Yellowknife has left me no choice but to let my manager know that I will be leaving my job.
But then I thought to myself, I love my job so why not bring it with me to Yellowknife. I have an access to work from home. It will be perfect. So I told my manager about this situation back in February.

Today, five months after, I was given the sad news. I cannot bring my work to Yellowknife. It sinks to me now that I am really leaving. I am filled with mixed emotions. I held myself together as I listened to his reasons why I could not bring my work to Yellowknife. As I listened to him, I was feeling that I was not good enough but then it was as if he could read my mind that he said this is not because we do not value you, in fact we considered it because we like you. But after some thought it is decided that this is something that our team is not ready for and that we are not equipped to do.

I wanted to bring my work to Yellowknife because how easy it would be to be working from home and at the same time doing something that I am already familiar with. But now that this is not going to happen, I am faced with uncertainty. Uncertainties that I have to face with courage and positive mind.

When one door closes, another opens. It's true. I am not able to bring my work to Yellowknife and it makes me feel that a part of me is being taken away. It is hard to let go of things that have made me comfortable, the lifestyle, and the routine that I am used to. I tend to cling to such things. And because of this, I think that it is a good thing that a decision was made for me so that letting go would be easier. If not, surely I would continue to do the same thing over and over again maybe for the next five years.

My manager told me that he believes I will do well in whatever it is I would decide to do in Yellowknife. You have come a long way and have done very well. You are a strong woman, he says. You are bright, hard worker, your work ethic is high, you communicate well and you work well with others. These are good qualities that not everybody has. So there is nothing you should be afraid of.

And I believe him. With all honesty I believe him. I agree with him. His kind words filled my heart with courage.

My horoscope says, "the next opportunity does not come from you, it calls on you." I always believe that things happen for a reason. There is something better out there for me and I will find it. It can be a challenge but I always have risen up to challenges. My choices are limitless. This is not the end. This is just the beginning of new and better things to come.

I am fortunate to have the opportunity for a change. Not everybody is given the chance for a change. Change is good. It is. Change is an opportunity. Opportunity to be better, to grow, to discover, to experience. And this is what is presented to me. This is what is given to me and change is what I am going to make.