When I am old and gray, I want to remember...
(this note shall be updated from time to time every time a happy thought arises)

- It's amazing how I feel safe holding Jessiah in my arms... how he makes me feel that everything will be fine. (This I felt with all three of them: Janvier, Justin and Jessiah.. It's just now that I get the opportunity to write my feelings down)

- At the end of the day, every time he comes to me crying and he falls asleep into my arms, I feel that I have done something right...

- Putting him to sleep while listening to my old cd's as if we are both slow dancing to the music is relaxing to me (which I also did before especially with Janvier.. yes, especially and mostly Janvier)

- I remember feeling down (a long time ago), Janvier was almost 6 years old, he came to me while I was sitting alone in the dining room and he said, "are you okay mommy? don't worry I'm here." Janvier, I have to say is my knight in shining armour.

- Justin once said, I love you mommy! You are fat! I love you, you are so comfy... and he made little twinkles with his eyes and hugged me ^^

- that tears roll down on Janvier's cheeks when I sing If We Hold On Together by Diana Ross and Words by Beegees. When we listened to the song The Book of Love by Peter Gabriel, we were both crying.

- that Janvier who is now 12 years old almost 13, still hugs and kiss me every time I drop him off at school and before he goes to sleep.