Have you ever felt lost and tired of looking for that place where you are supposed to be that you walk and you look left and right and you get frustrated because you cannot find what you are looking for and then you suddenly see something familiar which makes your heart race that you stop, you look, and then realize and say to yourself, no hold on... I am on the right place.

All this time that I have been here in Yellowknife, after leaving my job back in Toronto, I have been feeling so lost that I could not help it but get frustrated at myself for not knowing where I should be going. I know that I am at the right place, but I was not exactly sure if I should move forward or just stay still. It is as if I am standing still in front of this entrance worried that I could be going inside the wrong building.

That's what I felt today when I joined the NorthWords Writers.

Writing has always been something I enjoy and take a sweet pride on. I would write and write and write, and after writing, I would read it again and again and again. It is as if somebody else has written it that I get lost in the emotions when I read my own writing. When I was in grade 11, our teacher asked us to write a short story. After about three weeks, our teacher handed it back to us and said that my story was chosen to represent our school in the Toronto Short Story Writing contest. I felt scared. I did not know what to do. But I did what I had to do. I proofread my story, made sure I did not have any wrong spelling and wrong grammar. And that was it. My teacher mailed my story to enter it.

And then the day came. About 25 students from various schools in the city were there and 5 judges. All the students received back their stories with comments from all the 5 judges. One of the comment that stood out for me said, "You have a gift in writing. I like how you talked about poverty in the character's life by describing how she feels... when she wakes up feeling so cold in the morning with no heat. You have a good grasp of your theme and the ending is dramatic. But what you have here is not a short story, this is a novel. You have a lot of characters and there is a lot of things going on."

I kept that piece hidden since and the thought of being able to write pushed way back inside my head.

The NorthWords Writers is composed of a group of northern writers. Some of them are published authors while some are working on their novels and are looking into getting published. The memory of being surrounded by writers came back to me but the feeling was not the same. This time, we were not being judged but being encouraged to write. I asked if anyone has felt any confidence issues and I was surprised that I was not alone. I was told that I can do it and I can make my dreams come true. It was a very encouraging and engaging session that I felt comfortable with them. I felt a sense of pride to be with them. I felt that I belong and that I am home.

What I am taking from now on in is that confidence is something that you provide yourself, and that writers take confidence from each other too. And I felt that confidence today... that the thought of being able to write is no longer pushed back inside my head but is now here in front of me... all around me.

So as I am now standing still and looking at this entrance in front of me, I no longer feel lost because I know in my heart that I am where I am supposed to be. All I have to do now is walk right in.