Today on the Dr. Phil show was a married couple with marital problems. The husband, a body builder and a trainer, buffed and tanned is cheating on his wife, a pretty faced but slightly overweight woman who is the mother of his two children.

They have been married for 10 years and in those years the husband has been cheating with about a hundred girls according to the wife. She said that her husband has a bad temper and have hurt her physically in some occasions too. The husband acknowledges and does not deny these facts about him but continued to say when asked, that he will never be a devoted, faithful husband to his wife or to anyone. What an arrogant, full-of-it-sonna-ma-gun. He admits that he is manipulative too. But with all these I have to say that he was honest. Weird to say about a cheating husband, but you see, the wife knew all those times she had been cheated on. This was the husband's excuse and the fact that his wife has gotten "fat". He says that after he cheats, his wife takes him back and he knows his wife will always take him back so he continues to cheat again and again.

They are now getting a divorce. It is so easy to do this when you are married in the United States. Good for them.

It is very hard to hang on to a marriage that has been deteriorating for a long time, most especially when a spouse is immature, superficial, and does not share your goals and values. Women, please take care of yourselves when entering into a relationship. It is so important that you hold on to your self-esteem so that no man can manipulate you and make decisions for you. Looking good should be coming from the inside, beauty should not be superficial so you do not end up with men who would hurt you and leave you once your look and body has changed. And please ladies, let us have respect to ourselves and to each other. Do not date a man who is already married! Go and get your own! Because if he is cheating on his wife, what makes you think he is not going to cheat on you? And Mr. Good Looking who thinks he is all that, you will get old too, "gravity will kick in", you can take all the pills and help you need to make your weapon operative but let me tell you... what goes around comes around. You will end up alone and the fun you think you are having now will be nothing but the cause of your pain in the future. Your measure of being a man is nothing but a shallow, empty, and superficial being that you are. You are not invincible. No one is.

So because of this, I thought to myself what is beauty then? During my younger years I did not pay attention on how I look. The most I have done were to make sure that I shower and I comb my hair. I did not have any fashion sense at all and was always one of the boys. I remember how I was critical of the ladies in beauty pageants; the way they strut and how theatrical they were when they introduce themselves, and how dreadful I would feel when a candidate does not answer a question properly. I bet you are thinking that I am not a fan of Ms. Universe pageant, huh? Well, l think it is overrated. After the reign of the beauty queen is over, nobody really hear about her anymore unless she is pursuing an acting career or a modelling career. And when she gained weight, her youth faded, people say "whatever happened to her?" I don't criticize beauty pageants anymore because I stopped watching them. I don't see the point of all these beautiful women competing against each other for the title, "the most beautiful woman in the world."


I never fully understood why beauty is skin deep until I read someone say that, "Whoever are those who say that beauty is skin deep, they are ugly." Yes, good beautiful genes help but not always. And you see, the person's definition of beauty is too shallow. Beauty is indeed skin deep. Beauty is so much more than the eyes can see. It is within me, it is within you. Beauty is when I wake up in the morning feeling excited about life, feeling grateful of the day that is ahead of me. When I look at my sons, I feel beautiful. I feel beautiful of the love and affection I am able to give and receive. Thinking about my mother makes me feel beautiful as thoughts of her love and devotion to us her children is such an inspiration. To feel beautiful, I preserve and keep my values in mind: faith, family, love, health and hope. I keep my health so I can nurture my body and so I can feel good and stay fit to enjoy life. I keep my love to nurture my being so I would feel thankful of all the blessings that come my way and so I can pass the love along. I keep my family because they are the source of my strength and inspiration that make me feel I am needed and worthy. I keep my faith to nurture my spirit to be positive and strong when the days get tough. I keep my hope so I can nurture my will to keep on going knowing that with God's help I can make things happen.

I don't want to feel unpretty just because I don't wear make-up everyday, that not all dresses or outfit look good on me, and that some accessories look silly, that I don't have the perfect body, that I am slightly overweight, that I have soggy belly, that I have cellulite on my thighs, that I am short, that I have acne... the list of imperfections can get long. I don't want to feel unpretty just because someone told me, "oh you better lose weight because you look fat." I don't want to feel unpretty because of my skin color, my ethnicity, or because of my genes not being superior.


So when beauty does not make sense, let us just smile at what we see in the mirror and think this thought: "There is nothing that can dim the beauty that shines from within." Let us keep healthy, stay positive and maintain a nurtured mind and spirit. Let us celebrate life and find beauty in our surroundings, the people we love, the things that we enjoy doing. Let us always keep a smile on our lips, gentleness in our touch, strength in our heart and mind, and beauty will shine from within...a sense of beauty that outlasts even the longest lasting waterproof mascara or lipstick... a sense of beauty that represents vitality, that exudes confidence and happiness, that which experience serenity, a sense of beauty that is ageless and withstands the tests of times.