Our lives is only as rich as the relationships we have with each other. If we have good relationships, our life feels a lot more fulfilling and abundant. It just feels that we have "more" if we get along with people around us --- from family, to friends, to acquaintances, or people in our community.

Good relationships are positive and authentic. It is real. It is honest. There is no pretending in good relationships. When someone in a relationship is pretending, the relationship becomes tainted and eventually breaks. To have a good relationship, authenticity must start from within. This means that you have to be true to yourself. Being true is listening to what your heart tells you or to the good that is inside you. I used to admire, or think, that being bitchy, is a strong personality. That thinking has changed. I believe that people who are always negative, or bitchy, those who are "acting tough" are just trying to protect themselves from being vulnerable. They do not want to get hurt and they believe that if they hurt others first, they are not going to be affected. If you feel that you are wearing this mask, you are not being authentic, you are not being true to yourself. Deep inside you have a good, kind heart.

“People are opportunities. The gift is in the interaction and the connection with another person, whether it lasts forever or not.” I cannot stress it enough how grateful I am for my family and friends. I am blessed to have met people who inspire me, who accept me and allow me to be my authentic self. Oh, I have friends who are such rare gems I could live forever and a day.

http://joshralls.blogspot.com/2010/12/friendship.html

I remember I was once a school transferee, I was in grade two, and I remember that I was approached by a girl. She was kind and pretty, and I remember she told me stories about her famous brother, and I remember she would invite me to her big house, and there by the beach, we would play. But then her family had to leave the town and they moved to another city far away, and that was the end of my memories of her. By that time, I remember having other friends at elementary school although I do not recall how I became friends with them. I stayed in that school until high school and those friends are now my lifelong friends.

But then after ten years, I was again the "new kid" in school, and at the time a new immigrant here in Canada, I was also the "new kid in town". This time, I was in grade eleven. And again, I was approached by a girl, who then became my best friend.

And then I turned 31. I was starting at a new job position. And if I would try to make a meaning out of it, I would say that I was also a transferee since I was coming from a different department but starting my new position within the same company. And the very first person from that team who sent me a welcome email, (you guessed it) became my best friend.

When I was in grade four, I was representing my school in a Science Quiz Bee, and there was this student, who remarked that she thought I was snotty because I did not seem to be approachable, and was quiet. But then all that changed when I started talking to her after she joined in a conversation that I was having with another student. This remark was something that stuck in my mind ever since. I realized that people can misinterpret me just because I stay quiet, or just because I have the "snotty look". I guess the "snotty look" is justified because I am not the kind who approach people. And because I learned that about me, I knew then how to make others approach me. I turned the "snotty look" to a smiley face.

Now fast forward to the present day. For a year now, I am again, "the new kid in town" literally, new here in the town of Yellowknife. But what happened differently this time, was that, unconsciously, I approached people so I can be friends with them. When I became a member of NorthWords, back in October of 2010, my intention was to learn about publishing and to just simply attend that workshop. But then as part of my promise to myself that I would do anything so I feel at home in this town, I volunteered to become a member of the board. We were having a breakfast meeting when our President said that, he and his wife did the same thing when they moved here to Yellowknife... they joined clubs and put themselves out there and from there they knew people and became friends with them. And I am lucky, indeed I found a gem of a friend; and a group of inspiring people.

Being the "new kid" here in Yellowknife makes me miss my friends in Toronto. And also this experience made me realize that no matter what age you may be, you still long for friends and you still feel the anxiety and worry of fitting in. Or maybe it is just me. I also have observed that as people grow older, and having a hectic lifestyle and schedule, making time for friends feels like another chore and seeing them is just another tiring thing to do that it comes to a point that you whine about seeing them, or worse wishing that you do not have to see them. How could you say then that you are a friend if you feel this way? Shouldn't you be feeling excited and happy that you have the opportunity to see your friend, to catch up on old times, to say how do you do, to give a hug, to see him/her smile? Unless of course you really are not a friend you say you are, or although you call them friends, the truth is you really do not consider them as your friends. You are just saying it. I understand we are all busy and it is with this very reason that seeing a friend should be something to look forward to because we do not see them everyday. At my previous work, it was not the work I did that made me feel inspired to go to the office, it was the fact that I enjoy being in the company of the people I worked with. And to make my point, seeing my best friend at work everyday, was not enough because really, we were focused at our jobs so we would, when we could, go out for lunch, or have a dinner date, sometimes just the two of us, or with our mutual friends. And when our schedules would tolerate it, we would also meet on a Saturday for a play date. Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda, their fictitious friendship is what I say the truest of friendship, which of course is a story based on real life friendship stories like mine, or yours, and of others out there.


So if you have a friend and you feel that this person is a true friend to you, make sure that you let this person know how you feel. It is good to express how you feel in words and there are many ways you can do this. There's email (my favorite), phone, text messaging, snail mail and Facebook. Hug is a good way to express love and gratitude, and is also my favorite. I am thankful for Facebook and email really, because no matter how far away I am from my friends, I could just put a shout out, or fire an email just to simply say "I love you," "I miss you" or "I hope you have a nice day." And truly, because I mean what I say when I say it, doing this makes me happy. Thoughts of them make me happy. And frankly, when I am emailing them, I feel rested and energized. And oh, it is okay to have more than one best friend. I mean, why not?