I don't understand how someone can be nice to a person when the other person is present, then talk behind the other person's back after, calling the other names. This is something that boggles my mind because obviously I do not do it. However, unfortunately, I do not think that I was not ever a victim of it. In fact, now that I am back in the workforce I know I would have to deal with it just because I have heard this person talk about this other person several times. In fact, in my third day of work, I already overheard this person talk about me, which did not bother me because the comments this person made was really about the conversation we had and I did not overhear any name calling. Yesterday, however, this person and I had another situation, where it was going so bad because during our conversation, both of us, oblivious to our tone, were both talking in high pitch. We resolved our issue, but I know for sure that this person already had talked about it, and probably called me some names, as soon as I left the office. And this is why, at 2:40 am, I am blogging, instead of sleeping.

Now how do I deal with this. First, let me tell you a story. When I was in elementary school, all of us students were trained to be polite and courteous to our teachers and the simplest way to show this is to greet them in the hallway saying, "Good morning Sir, or Ma'am". A good student such as I did that with no problems. However, one afternoon, in the Phys Ed class, this male teacher, made a remark about girls which I found very inappropriate. Although he was joking at that time, I found it very irresponsible of him. I lost my respect for him that very moment and never greeted him in the hallway. I graduated from that school and I have no recollection of ever talking to him since that class. Now that I think about this, I may have judged him too quickly but I do not know any better in grade five. Or maybe I did.

"If you have nothing good to say, don't say it," is one of the many words I live by, but if I do have to speak out, or say something, I just do not name names. Naming names to me is irrelevant in resolving an issue and it becomes personal. Or if the situation is something that I can just dust off my shoulder, I just shrug. And because this is my mentality, I feel uncomfortable when I hear people calling names and talk about other people behind their back and then when I see them the next morning, this person who does the name calling greets the oblivious co-worker in the hallway. If that person does that to the other, what makes me so special that this person will not do the same to me?

"Treat each other duly and with respect." How I dealt with the "sexual commenting teacher" in elementary is not applicable to this "name calling person" at work. I cannot avoid or ignore this person. That is just unprofessional and would cause more name calling. Notice that the word "duly" is separated but at the same time connected to the word "respect." Because if you look up the word "duly", it means "in accordance with what is required or appropriate," but also it is defined "as might be expected or predicted." Expected or predicted, cause and effect, name calling and then name calling. Hmmnn... there is a pattern here. I could make this person have a taste of his or her own medicine but is that appropriate? No. So let's think of something else. Because we know that this person calls other person names, what if I treat this person extra nicer the next day? And because I know I am authentically nice this would be easier for me to do rather than pretend to be a bitch and then fall apart after, so bitchy attitude is a no-no and is just bad for my skin, my heart and health. So that's one way, treat this "name calling person" appropriately. Respect is self explanatory and most of the time is what appropriate. We should always try our best to treat others with respect because each of us deserves it. No excuses. There is no need to be condescending, in our words and even in our thoughts of others. Each of us just want to be heard, including me, so I do thank you for your time listening to my thoughts.

I think I better go to bed now because I have to go to work in about four hours and I am on a mission. Sweet dreams to you and to me.